This week was another trip to Scotland for a sad occasion. My cousin Helen’s husband, Brian, passed away on 8th October.
Brian had faced many health challenges over the last 30 years, and whilst both he and his family shared moments of anguish, these were met with stoical fortitude, humour, love and support.
Brian ‘Andy’ Innes Anderson was born 9th September 1958, by all accounts in a rush.
He joined the Royal Navy in his teens and whilst in the senior service he travelled extensively, trained to be a chef, boxed and was on HMS Ark Royal featured in the BBC programme Sailor.
He married Helen in 1978, with their eldest son born in October 1979, after a move to Helensburgh.
Another son completed their family in 1984.
They returned to Arbroath and Brian worked at Dundee College until his first health challenge. Over the years he had to cope with debilitating conditions. Each one was met with a positive mentality to overcome them, and make the best of it.
He channelled his energies into baking, sugar craft, the church, making bracelets, draw cartoons, and laminate cards to hand out at church, and much more.
Latterly he was also involved with Andy’s Man Club, a mens’ suicide prevention charity.
Brian was a prolific reader and could talk on any subject. His smile was as big as his heart and he enjoyed spending time with his extended family.
At his funeral, so beautifully put together by his wife and sons, we saw video footage of Ark Royal, pictures of Brian at the top of mountains, and his huge smile. His eldest son read a very touching eulogy, with the raw emotion exposed.
Music played a part in invoking memories of youth, love and family.
From the church we went to the crematorium with more music and poignant words. As the final goodbyes were said, the coffin began to descend and there was a loud cry from Helen as she had requested that the flag draped over the coffin, to be returned, and she thought it was on the final journey with Brian. It did lighten the moment and caused the congregation to suppress a giggle. I’m sure Brian would have appreciated that.
Brian gave so much to his community, and that was so apparent in the high regard he was held in. I’d forgotten about some of his youthful derring do’s, and it was a privilege to say goodbye and be reminded of them.
As we age it’s important to remind ourselves and others of how our lives have unfolded, good, bad, indifferent. It’s important to share what were our hopes and dreams, and also those we still have.
Helen has been by Brian’s side for over 46 years and she has the love and support of so many to help her navigate her grief and loss, and find her new normal. Life is precious.
My little life 