First quarter of 2019

I can’t believe that we are three months into 2019.

I’ve had two trips to Scotland, been to see some football, rugby and been to Lords for dinner.

We’ve visited Brighton, Arbroath, Ripon, Harrogate, Stow on the Wold and Charlbury.

We also lost our beloved Reggie, far too soon into his short but sweet life. We have his ashes and are looking at how best we can pay tribute to him.

Work has had the usual challenges, not least the year end to complete and budget to balance! Both are now done so I can look forward to what the next quarter will bring!

I have four trips coming up, some great things planned with friends, and a garden that is beginning to bloom. This always lifts my spirits as it heralds the hope of new life and the joy that can bring.

Can’t wait!

💔💔 Heartbroken💔💔

In September Reggie came into our lives, from the very outset, a lively kitten who was loved and loved unconditionally.

He had so many little quirks: he would always try to put any food that fell out of his bowl back in, would lick the tip of your nose, even place his paw on your face to move it round, and he continued to do both of these.

He would wriggle under the covers to snuggle into you. He’d eat anything so we learned not to leave any food out: a particular favourite was bread and most recently Parma violets!

As a family we all grew to love him. He loved to play and loved nothing more than to snuggle into you, or sit on your lap, always purring.

He had a weak little meow and once you picked him up he didn’t struggle to get away. He was such a delight. He was also fearless.

Last Tuesday he went out and it took until Thursday evening to find out what had happened to him.

With great sadness we know that he is dead, but Georgina has arranged for him to be remembered fittingly. She is an amazing young woman in how she has coped so far.

This has been hard for all of us who knew and loved Reggie, I have been unusually deeply affected by his passing, a life so short but so sweet and we will feel his presence forever. 💔💔💔

In your corner

I’ve had an incredible day today watching the last match in this year’s 6 nations. England were trouncing Scotland almost keeping the score the same as the minutes played tally.

I don’t know what Gregor said at half time, or what they said to themselves, but it worked!

Suffice to say England scored in the 83rd minute to draw although Scotland retained the Calcutta Cup.

I was so proud of the Scotland team and their efforts.

As Kevin and I walked to the station I checked my phone and read of another young man taking his life and I was shocked – he was 26, fit, good looking and living seemingly a charmed life.

I feel so sad for any family that has to go through this pain, I just can’t imagine how you would cope with such news.

As a mother of three, two of which are sons, there for the grace of God go I.

Why? What can change? Life for some is tough, does society place such high expectations of how we should look, what we wear, the car we drive, holidays? Does social media warp how life seems?

Life and people aren’t perfect, but there can be perfect moments in your life. We all can’t have everything and even those that appear to have it all, quite often that isn’t the full picture.

When we struggle we need to be sure that we can talk to others and not fear that it is a sign of weakness. I know I have in the past and have sought help on a couple of occasions.

Our mental health is so important, as is resilience and knowing who we can turn to.

I am a worrier and many a time my husband has helped me by saying that we can face things when they happen, don’t worry before they do.

The mind is such a delicate thing, no one really knows what is going on inside, and outwardly we can all wear a mask that hides our vulnerability.

So we need to be more open, honest and share our feelings, thoughts and fears.

Be in your mate’s corner, as you never know when you might need them in your corner.

A chance to relax

We are midway through March, this year is going so fast!

Today Georgina and I are having a spa day and we are really looking forward to it!

The challenges over the last few weeks have been exhausting but light is at the end of the tunnel and positive outcomes are aplenty!

The next few weeks/months provide so many wonderful things:

sport-rugby, tennis, cricket

travel- Scotland, Majorca, Italy

friends-Debbie,Jane,Elaine, and many more

music-rip it up, Hamilton

and family

( in no order of preference)!

There are also plans a foot for work on the house, and I will no doubt have to temper my brain’s ideas and vision with a budget ( a bit like a busman’s holiday)!

I appreciate that I am very fortunate in so many ways being able to do the things I love, and I will continue to take the opportunities as they come my way, enjoy and log in the memory bank.

A strange feeling

Today we drove over to Morden where Kevin’s mum and until a couple of months ago, his Nan lived.

His Nan’s house has been a constant in his life, and his Mum has lived across the road for over 20 years.

Nan moved to a lovely home and Val and her husband move out on Wednesday.

Driving over, it hit me that we will not visit there again.

I have so many memories from the first time I met Kevin’s grandparents in 1981, how welcome I felt even though the weekend was a leap into the unknown!

Kevin has so many childhood memories, of the garden, the house and the people that lived there.

We went over today to help clear the garage of Val’s house and to get the unwanted items disposed of.

Four trips to the ‘dump’ and other salvageable in our car we returned home.

It’s strange some of the things we keep, quite often, squirrelled away for months/years and when we come across them again we just can’t relinquish them.

I resolve to declutter as Easter approaches and to be bold. I don’t need things to remind me of happy times, sad times, places, and life changing moments-I just need those I love near me. Perhaps I’ll blog about it and how successful or not I’ve been!

Moving into March

After a busy half term the return to work has been even busier. To be honest it’s felt like longer than a week

Monday seems so long ago, there has been meetings, a 14 hour day, a conference, a long awaited job ticked off, tears, affirmation, a hair cut and also family time!

The weekend is quietish, although helping Kevin’s mum prepare for their big move next week!

2019 I’m ready for you

With the snowdrops blooming today, I have spent sometime talking to myself.

It’s time to embrace what this year will hold.

Kevin and I have enjoyed a few days away in beautiful surroundings and clement weather for the time of year.

I’ve missed my kids, pets but not work.

It’s been great to walk, clear my head and see all that nature has to offer, and the spark of new life and growth.

I’m going to start walking more often, drink less alcohol, eat better and look forward to plans I’m making.

Keep right on to the end of the road!

Half term

Since the turn of the new year it’s been frantic, but the weeks have flown by

The Guinness six nations has begun and half term has arrived!

I’ve noticed that it’s lighter in the mornings, darker later in the evening and even seen a snowdrop or two. That always fills me with joy.

I’ve also booked two holidays and planning another so feeling positive overall.

I’m working for the next couple of days and off to enjoy a treat from Christmas; the weather looks clement so I’m hoping for a chance to reflect and recharge.

I can’t believe that we are half way through another academic year, it all feels a blur.

Late March looks to be epic so I better conserve some energy for then!

A trip home…

A message earlier this month from my Mum breaking the news of my dad’s younger brother’s death was a bolt out of the blue.

A call last Thursday, 10th, saying the funeral was on the 17th meant a few internet logins with return tickets purchased and time off in lieu agreed.

My Dad is the oldest of four children, 3 boys and 1 daughter and now Dad (85) and Mabel (80) remain.

The journey up on Wednesday started off with signal failure and catching the train from Kings Cross with only a few minutes to spare. I arrived just after 4pm after a quiet journey of reflection: not something I’m particularly good at!

Tea and cake with Mum and Dad was enjoyed, followed by lasagne.

We chatted, watched some repeats, footie and then to bed.

I love my husband to bits, but the chance of sleeping in a double bed diagonally is always a treat!

I woke to the sun streaming through the window and we enjoyed scrambled eggs and smoked salmon for breakfast and then got ready for the solemn occasion.

We arrived in plenty of time and met with family and a large group of mourners assembled to pay their respects.

The hearse arrived and we filed in, to the strains of heedrum, hodrum music.

The family and Jim made their entrance.

Jim was married to Ina and they have 5 children.

The ceremony was humanist and the celebrant was wonderful.

The tribute to Jim was heart warming and gave insight to the man who loved his family, his dancing and his bowling.

He worked hard travelling with his work and I have fond memories of the slim man with the shock of dark hair, Ina and our cousins.

Jim was held in high regard and he seemed to have life sorted, doing what he enjoyed with those he loved and cherished.

Highland Cathedral was played, a tune I love and synonymous with Murrayfield for me.

The family were very kind yesterday and their love for their Dad and Grandad shone through. A sad occasion but glimmers of memories and happiness too.

The sun greeted me again this morning and shone on my journey home.

Another quiet journey that made me think that we have lost the art of communicating: so many people on their phones, tablets and laptops, earphones on, shut off from human contact.

I chose to read a book and thoroughly enjoyed it. I also reflected on how fortunate I have been to be part of an extended family with so many aunts, uncles and cousins. There are fewer now, all the more reason to keep in touch and enjoy time together.

Very few of us know when our time will end, and I have spent some time thinking about enjoying what I have, as in family and friends and the things I can do, and stress less over things I can’t change and take a moment to say ‘will I remember this in 3-5 years time?’ and if the answer is no then just let it be.

I think that’s what Uncle Jim did and I will take inspiration from that.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

A tale of two Abigails

Friday meant an early leave from work and a trip to Brighton.

The journey down was good and we took a taxi into the city to meet Mark and Matt to enjoy dinner at Cote before the theatre.

We were to see Abigail’s party: a seventies play by Mike Leigh. A real treat with Jody Prenger, an absolute joy as Beverley. We all enjoyed it immensely, with some laugh out loud moments. Outrageous on occasion and an insight into relationships and seventies fashion and furniture!

‘Do you like Demis Roussos, Sue?’

We had a leisurely start to Saturday, a fantastic breakfast, prep for an Indian feast, and a seafront walk before the cinema.

Elaine had booked to see The Favourite, a film about Queen Anne and her relationship with Sarah Churchill, and a usurper in the guise of Abigail Hill.

Erotic, funny and poignantly sad, Olivia Coleman is deserving of the plaudits she is receiving.

Back home to a home made Indian feast-delicious and has inspired me to cook more Indian food.

Bed beckoned and another good night’s sleep. We caught up with Andrew in Australia, as Lis was returning from a French music festival.

A continental breakfast followed, good conversation about future travel plans, home improvements and laughter were on the menu too. Elaine and Jane are such great hosts and whilst we can have serious moments, we mostly laugh a lot!

We had a good journey home and this was a real tonic for me particularly, as next week I travel to Scotland for my uncle’s funeral.

2018

A year full of so many things all written about in previous blogs.

So many challenges, some wonderful moments, and some scary.

What will 2019 hold?

Opportunities will present themselves, be taken, enjoyed and faced with love and enthusiasm!

That’s it for now-short but sweet.

Xxxx

Christmas preparation

December has just shown up and I couldn’t be less prepared in some ways. I’ve met up with a few friends and enjoyed some great food and chat!

I’ve made cards, and posted most of them; I’ve bought crackers; I’ve ordered ham and a capon; I’ve even got a Tesco slot for 22nd booked.

Yesterday was tree decoeating, especially after my wreath making in the morning

With Georgina’s help, the tree is now decorated and a few other festive touches around the house!

In school we have advent angels, anonymous currently, and mine has given me a nativity calendar, nativity cookie cutters and some chocolate, each with a little commentary.

Very thoughtful, and I have one too and am doing similar.

There is still things to be done, outside lights, garlands, even gifts to buy (not holding out much hope for that though, as there is so little time!)

We break up for Christmas on 21st December 😱

As long as there is enough food, drink, clement weather, with family and friends to see, I’m not going to stress too much about what may not be done.

The last three months at work have provided so many challenges and I’m tiring as we approach the long awaited two week break.

It’s the season to be jolly!

Some good news…

The last three weeks have been peppered with anxiety, positive thoughts, hope, work challenges and love and support.

Two weeks ago an appointment was made for the breast care unit at Basildon hospital as the doctor still felt there was a lump.

Those 14 days have shown how kind people are, how I over think things and that it is important to have checks to discount the worry and anxiety.

After three mammograms, an ultrasound and three hours my boobs have a clean bill of health! Hurrah!

The relief was immense, and a celebration was to be had.

A curry and a couple of Bombay Smashes certainly helped.

The messages today were overwhelming and have really lifted my spirits, so much so I put up a mirror and shelf in the downstairs loo!

Now to enjoy the build up to Christmas, the start of another year and all that that will bring. 💕💕💕💕💕

Keeping abreast of things-a serious post for me

This last week has been full of so many things, it’s where to start.

Sunday saw Georgina and I caught up in a bomb scare at Bluewater, a frightening experience in itself, but at least a false alarm. I was surprised at how my mother hen came to the fore, and my imperative was to keep Georgina calm and safe.

Monday, and doing a routine breast check doubled with a dull ache and tenderness, I made an appointment to get it checked, but not till next Wednesday.

Tuesday with feeling worse I called again, best offer was to go to the surgery for 8:00 am the next day. An evening trip to see Bohemian Rhapsody provided some relief with music cheering me up.

Luckily the doctor saw me earlier and he found a lump, but as I had a mammogram in April that was clear, he is, as I am, hopeful it is a cyst and a course of antibiotics prescribed.

I can’t lie and say I’m not worried, that is natural, but I have always resolutely attended regular appointments and do checks at home.

I have told some family and a few other people, and it is surprising how many people have had a ‘scare’ and they have offered comforting words.

I’m sure it’s nothing sinister, and hope so too.

Early detection is crucial as is to find out that it’s nothing suspicious and get that reassurance.

Two late evenings at school, culminating in seeing a message from Oz today that Andrew and Lis are safe after a terrorist attack in Melbourne!

What a world we live in, but I am blessed with wonderful family and friends and intend to enjoy the weekend at Twickenham watching rugby!